Vincent Cheung

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Sunday, July 23, 2006

Striving to live without regret

My greatest regret in my life has been inaction, primarily with respect to my interactions with other people. It's a horrible feeling. I'm always left with that "what if?..." feeling. And worse, there is no one to blame but myself.

It stems mostly from my shyness, which I have been doing much better with compared to when I was younger (I am no longer shy around people and have much more confidence in myself). My inaction is also because of my lack of guts, fear of taking chances, "ruining" things, and creating awkward situations. Other times, I just end up somehow justifying the inaction to myself given the circumstances or something like that. This explains why I had such a "late start".

You know, my actions haven't particularly led me where I want to be (and expected to be) in some aspects of my life. So what better time to change than now? I want to live without regret. I just need to take (or ask) what I want. At least then I'll know one way or the other and not be left just wondering.


You need to be-more-assertive

  -- Indian guy from Yellow Fever


And now, my own personal rant (yes, I know you hate it, but it has to be done this way):

10 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Please stop spamming us. Thanks.

Vince said...

Grrr... Guangji, I know that was you...

Fine, I'll change it so that you don't see the crap anymore.

Mark said...

Damn. We really are very similar.

Just be prepared for a different kind of regret: regret of things you have done. Let's face it, sometimes those things you avoided really wouldn't have worked out (but only rarely). But the "oops" kind of regret is far superior, anyway, and it tends to turn into a useful lesson that you can chuckle about later.

Vince said...

Well, I'm not saying that I'm going to just start being reckless, but there have been several instances where I thought about it a lot, decided to act on it, but in the end, just chickened out. Those are the ones I regret the most.

Or it's like, I look back and I think shit, I so should have done this or that, but instead, just let it pass.

Mark said...

Oh yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

And honestly, maybe you should be reckless sometimes. Risk/reward and all that. High risk equals high reward, and if you don't get the reward, you get a good story for later. "So this one time, I set my hand on fire..."

Michele said...

I was like you long time back and I thought the same things as you are thinking now. I decided to do what I wanted, take what I wanted and be more careless about what-people-think-if-I-do-it. I'm happy with the way I do things now but I have to admit that this type of behaviour will bring you more troubles, more problems to solve, more happy moments, and a lot more bad moments. It's like gambling, the more you risk the more you can win or, more often, the more you loose.
While now you deal with a simple "what if" the will fade away in time, when you change your approach to real things you will deal with stronger feelings that will leave marks on you foverver. And worst, you can be ashamed of those marks.
Nonetheless, if things go the way wanted, the rewared is worthy any effort and any bad time you had to go through.

Justin said...

You have what you have in the time that you have it. And sometimes that's all it is and all that it needs to be.

Michele said...

Justin, I don't agree. You have what you seek and timing is everything. Seek for more and get more. The 3 rules of my life: think positive, play hard, never regret. And when you have a doubt, just do it.

Justin said...

Michele, my post wasn't so much about risk taking as it was about not mulling about in rue. I agree with you in the sense of risk taking and you gotta do in life what you gotta do. But in the sense of "ruining things" I believe that a lot of relationships in life are transitory, so that's what you had in the time that you had it, so no sense in beating yourself over it.

Anonymous said...

I wish I have the key, then maybe I'll be assertive as well.

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