Vincent Cheung

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Friday, March 07, 2008

The Rapist

Whenever I see the word "therapist", I think "the rapist". Maybe I need to see a therapist about that.

Other random stuff that makes for good status messages:
  • "Can you hold on for a second? I'm on my hamburger phone."

  • Environment Canada is reporting that "another winter wallop threatens spring forward weekend"

  • It annoys me that Mother Nature finally gave me the conditions to rollerblade again, only to take it away hours later with a snowfall. This is not the first time this year that this has happened to me. Walking sucks.

  • Canadians use both their nick name and their status message on msn messenger as areas to use for status messages

  • "Are you for Obama because you're sexist or Hillary because you're racist?"

  • "If I were a waiter and I were to offer you two different slices of pizza and one was half Hawaiian and you weren't entirely sure what it was gonna taste like, and the other was plain with cheese and it had been under a heat lamp for 35 years, I mean it had seen everything, which would you go for?"

  • Barack Obama is the real-life David Palmer

  • From the Pickup Artist:
    • "Did you see the fight outside? Two girls were fighting over this guy named George..."

    • "I have a question of monumental importance.... do you floss before or after you brush?"

    • "I need a female opinion on something. My sister, she's only 18, wants to get a tattoo of her boyfriend's name. If I tell her 'no', that's only gonna make her wanna get it even more."
    • "What do you have going for you besides your looks?"

    • "Pick a number from 1 to 4..... Three. Pick a number from 1 to 10.... Seven."

  • I should start myfreeenlargement.com to complement myfreeimplants.com

  • Aspartame, sucralose, and all those fake sugars are crap. Horrible aftertaste and they make feel sick.

  • Apparently I'm quite allergic to dust mites (cats too). I'm currently hiring for the position of hot French maid.

  • Still can't take off my iron ring.

  • I sat in the U of T Associate Dean of Dentistry's chair

  • If you don't register your own domain name (like vincentcheung.ca), I will, and I'll post photoshopped porn of you.

  • I'm debating whether to take down my mini Christmas tree, or whether it's close enough to December to just leave it up until then.

4 Comments:

Jill said...

Therapist--Me too. Three's Company did an episode with that joke too.

Hamburger phone--I had a 7-Up can phone. I won it from McDonald's when I was maybe 4. I didn't understand the concept of contests, I said I wanted the phone. Lucky for my mom, I got the phone. Although, it didn't support her argument that we can't always get what we want.

Winter Wallop threat--dumb. Spring forward is happening regardless of Mother Nature.

Ma Nature takes away rollerblading--funny, I was mad at her for taking away my ice skating conditions.

Two Pizzas--Hawaiian all the way. Duh.

The Pickup Artist on flossing--this explains the "excuse me, I have the sudden urge to floss" guy. He just got the line mixed up.

The Dean's Chair--did he tell you to floss?

Domain Names--I may as well let you do the work for me, we all know my site would be full of porn anyway ;)

Oh Christmas tree--Timmmmm-berrrr! Nah, leave it up for Leon's Christmas in July clearance sale.

Florence said...

Have you tried ice water? Lotion? Butter? Does your ring cut off your circulation at times? ;)

Vince said...

After a lot of pulling and lotion, I managed to take my ring off. I've been wearing it on my left hand. I still can't put it back on my right hand. I'm beginning to think that my pinky finger won't return to its previous size. It's not noticeably large, but my ring doesn't easily fit on it anymore...

Bob said...

I just read "After a lot of pulling and lotion..." and decided that I didn't want to read any further.

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