Trying to look professional when you're not makes you look even less professional

Thank you for your email. I have left for the weekend and will return on Monday 04/18 at 8am. If you require immediate assistance, please call our answer service at 206-XXX-XXXX and a specialist will get back to you shortly.

I love how weekends start on Tuesdays at Microsoft and last for 4 months. I hope my reimbursement for my travel expenses come back sooner than that...